i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
