I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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