WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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