i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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