I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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