I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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