Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
