so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
