ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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