Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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