I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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