Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
