I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
whose parrot is this?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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