he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
sex in a hospital.. check
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
