I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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