You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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