Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Found your dick twin last night
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
