I need help removing her.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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