She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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