I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
