I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
