sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize