There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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