There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
