I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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