and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
