I CAN MOONWALK!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
