It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Drake has all the answers
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
