i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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