I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
