1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize