Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you never un-have a 4some
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
