weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
