quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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