oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
