what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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