Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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