Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
