i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize