pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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