remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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