the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
