Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
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He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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