Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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