the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
