mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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