we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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