She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
