Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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