Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
