I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize