O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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