Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize