He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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