He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize