that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
