I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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