I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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