butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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