we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
